Now, I don’t call myself a ‘Christian’. Sure, I absolutely could. I spent two years in a Christian Discipleship program where I studied, not merely ‘read’, but studied The Bible nearly every single day. Not only that, thanks to the wisdom of a handful of pastors I would love to name but wouldn’t want to tread on their anonymity, we also studied The Bible in the original Hebrew and Koine Greek (There’s not as much Aramaic as people seem to think). Thanks to that, on top of over 30 years of spiritual exploration, I consider myself fairly well ‘spiritually versed’.
There are a few reasons I do not consider myself a ‘Christian’, however. Even though I have had all my sincerest prayers answered, seen miraculous events, and understand that the whole point of any spiritual pursuit is to become a better person and bring more joy than harm to the world, and even though I have no doubt that I am ‘saved’ (That would take a long explanation even an atheist would appreciate), to call myself a ‘Christian’ seems arrogant these days because it would associate me with people who use the tag only to excuse themselves from selfish pursuits.
But I do occasionally pray. I know how prayer works (or doesn’t). It’s never about ‘you’. Anytime we pray for something for ourselves, it is an exercise in self-delusion. Praying for others doesn’t really ‘work’ either… because that’s not what prayer is about; it is about understanding your place in the grand scheme of things, understanding that the Will of the Divine is inexorable, and accepting that “All will be well”, ultimately, regardless of what we may suffer. It is about opening yourself up to a will higher than yours and your acquiescence that in its bidding you will have value. It is never about ‘your’ will or wants. Really, it’s actually a small but useful device in Human Superconscious Theory. But late last night, struggling with insomnia, I prayed. Now, we aren’t supposed to talk about our prayers, like… ever. I don’t tend to talk much about it when, on rare occasions, I do pray, but, with the world spinning out of control and a deadly serious specter of Christian Fascism openly threatening our democracy, in the private halls of my mind, I thought, “Jesus… why?”

Prayers are answered in many different ways (usually purely by coincidence). In discipleship, the saying was, “God has three answers to prayers: “Yes”, “No”, or “Not now or in any way you might expect”. Talk about plausible deniability for God! In my experience, I’ve seen mostly the first and third answers. In this case, it was immediate:

“Hello Garth.”

My head swiveled. There, standing on my elliptical, was a guy. Normally I’d have been up and drawing any of the various weapons I have lying around, but just looking at him caused a wave of peace and contentment to wash over me like he was a cross between a best friend and a labrador retriever. Having grown up being invited to Bar-Mitzvahs, Bat-Mitzvahs, and even a B-not Mitzvah, as well as Seders, Hanukkah celebrations, and to even sit Shiva, he could have been any of my old friends.

He looked a LOT like this guy I found on the internet… minus the earbuds.

After I composed myself:

BuzzSaw: “Hey man… are you who I think you are?”

Jesus Christ: “I am”.

I grabbed for my phone only to find it updating. Same with my laptop.

JC: “Yeah, that happens with Microsoft stuff when I’m around. That’s why I use an Iphone. Would it really matter if you could record me anyway?”

I admitted it wouldn’t. No one would believe it anyway. So I got out one of my notebooks, much to its surprise after years of neglect, and asked, “Is it okay if I take notes?”. He was soft-spoken but had a matter-of-factness about him more serious than a shotgun.

JC: “Not a problem.”

It was then that I realized he wasn’t speaking English, yet I heard him as though he was.

JC: “Yes, I’m speaking in Aramaic. I could do Latin or Koine Greek, but The Spirit translates either way.”

BS: “Okay, I might as well just do everything out loud if you know what I’m thinking.”

JC: “I know what everyone is thinking. I am God, after all. Yes, it’s like the TARDIS.”

BS: “Yeah, I was just thinking about the translating thing. You watch Doctor Who?”

JC: “I watch everything. I live and see through all My people.”

BS: “Ah, that explains the ‘What you do to the least of these you do to me’ thing.

JC: “Yes, it’s absolutely true. All things are of My Father.”

BS: “Who is you, right?”

JC: “It’s complicated, but yeah. I’m basically the Avatar of The Divine, the tool by which God once walked on Earth and taught people the path to civilization.

BS: “Help each-other. So when people help each-other, their joy…”

JC: “Is God’s joy. Yes. All things are part of God. If any part of God, any person, feels joy, God feels joy. It is the same for suffering. God loves those who create joy.

BS: “What about people who cause suffering?”

JC: “He loves them too.”

At that my eyebrow sharply Spocked.

JC: “Everything is God, all of creation and everything in it. That means everything from the Big Bang to the Garden where I set up the underpinnings of salvation, to everything up to, during, and after My Kingdom to the very end of time. It means every event, every breath, every dream, blade of grass, breeze, building, creature, mountain, planet, star, every celestial body, every celestial civilization to have ever existed or will exist, and every iteration of reality in and of the entire multiverse… All God.

BS: “Wait, there are alien civilizations?”

JC: “Hey, just look at the math. Math is how I speak to theoretical astrophysicists.”

BS: “You mean Fermi and Hart…”

JC: “And others.”

BS: “So… you get the Great Dark Joke?”

JC, “Of course. So does The Void. We all have a good laugh about it.”

BS: “You can ‘talk’ to The Void? The absolute concept of oblivion?”

JC: “Read some Neil Gaiman.”

BS: “So, doesn’t The Void ultimately ‘win’?”

JC: “You’re still stuck with the illusion of linear time. ‘All things are’ and cannot be undone.”

BS: “So what ultimately happens?”

He gave me a slightly annoyed look and I realized I totally missed the concept at first. But he did answer:

JC: “Sorry, spoilers.”

BS: “I also just have to say, I knew you didn’t look like most of the depictions of you, but you’re kinda jacked. Why is that?”

JC: “The Europeans thought it was important to sell me as one of them in order to make people comfortable with their push to convert people. So they’ve depicted me as some European guy with blue eyes. As for the build, thanks. I was a carpenter for a while, but in my time and place that meant stone cutting… and lifting… and carrying… stones. Still, it’s not about how I look at all.”

BS: “Ah, okay. I appreciate what you’ve been able to tell me. It’s… comforting. But…”

JC: “We’ve gotten off-track?”, he finished my thought with a chiding smile.

BS: “Today’s ‘Christians’. You’ve seen what they’re up to, no doubt.”

JC: “Yes.”

BS: “So you know that, right now, they’re doing their best to undermine democracy because they want to push their beliefs on everyone else even though they’re in the minority. They’re even willing to resort to violence over it. They quote Matthew 10:34 about ‘bringing a sword’.”

JC: “Ugh! The ‘sword’ thing again. Yes, many people don’t understand the meaning of that. It’s sad because it’s a desperate justification for the use of violence, but what I meant was the ‘sword of division’. Those who truly follow me, those who shun walls, guns, hatred, and fear, will often find their own friends and family opposed to their path. They will in turn be shunned by a society that is about material gain rather than spiritual. Anyone who uses any of My teachings to justify violence has clearly not understood them.
Democracy was a wild idea in My time. It is actually part of the fulfillment of My prediction that ‘The meek shall inherit the world’ because in its most optimal form it gives an equal voice to the downtrodden. I’ve been watching it develop in parts of the world and so far it’s been a pretty good run. Democracy in your United States has always struggled against the forces of avarice, and, depending on who does what in the very near future, it will succeed or fail.”

BS: “Can I get a hint of which?”

JC: “For me, it’s both. I’m a multi-dimensional entity that exists simultaneously in every iteration of reality. For you, I can’t say. On one hand, your future is unwritten for you. On the other hand: ‘Spoilers’.

BS: “Ah, I see. Okay, so then can you explain why all the people who are pushing to take away the rights of others, such as reproductive rights for women, marriage equality, social safety nets, and so much more are doing it in your name?

JC: “Well, let’s get one thing clear first; they’re not ‘My people’. I gave My people very explicit instructions on these things. Everything your current, self-described ‘Christians’ do falls short. Certainly everyone falls short of the example I gave them, but what I’m talking about is the absence of The Holy Spirit. These are people who claimed to accept My gift of salvation but never allowed My Spirit into them.

BS: “Wait, I thought that all anyone had to do was admit that you were the Savior and their salvation was secured. Is that not the case?

JC: “It’s complicated. Yes, they’re ‘saved’, but their efforts and actions do not reflect the presence of The Spirit; Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are not evident in their motives. I see only fear, ignorance, anger, arrogance, and self-righteousness. They simply excuse themselves, or really just ignore their true motivations, by invoking My name as their cause.
They shun knowledge of the suffering of others so that they need feel no responsibility to their fellow people. Neither I, nor any of My disciples ever said that abortion was a sin. The entirety of scripture, in fact, supports the beginning of life being at the ‘first breath’, for that is how God created life; when it breathed its first. I’ve seen their attempts to claim that God ‘knowing you in the womb’ is supposed to mean that God wanted everyone who was ever in a womb to be born. This is quite obviously not the case considering that God Himself ordered the Israelites to kill pregnant women and their children. Saying ‘I knew you in the womb’ just means “I knew you were going to be here” or “I knew you since you were *this* big”. It’s just about God ‘knowing’.
God is not in favor of millions of women suffering, struggling with poverty, or dying because they can’t get the medical care that God gave you.
I also never said anything about homosexuality. The Old Testament was actually about a burgeoning nation of Jews. They ruled out anal sex not because it was something God really cared about, but under the circumstances, they couldn’t afford to miss the opportunities to build their numbers. They needed soldiers to fulfill God’s plan for them, and butt stuff wouldn’t get that done. Even the example of Sodom and Gomorrah had nothing to do with ‘love’ or ‘homosexuality’. It was about abusing, to the point of even raping, foreigners who went into the city. The rapists didn’t care whether they were raping men, women, or children. My Father smote them for being wicked, not for how people had sex.
Paul is a separate issue. He was never with me in life, but at a moment of great personal distress, I came to him and showed him everything.

BS: “Wait, ‘everything’?”

JC: “Actually, not that much. I showed him everything I stood for. Everything he needed to know. He was already a scholar of the Pentateuch, so it was a good resumé. It didn’t hurt that he felt he had a lot to make up for, even though I forgave him. His problem was that he struggled with all the crazy things happening in the Church at Corinth. They would ask him questions about really silly things, and he just did the best he could. I mean, they actually cared about who wore hats, so he just had to make up rules on the fly. Paul’s particular hang-up was ALL about ‘lust’ and how it led to strife. He just didn’t care for ‘sex’ at all. Sure, he spoke a little too glowingly about Timothy, but I’m not going to get into his personal details. Even so, he never said that ‘homosexual relationships’ were ‘wrong’. We had that, y’know. It wasn’t that unusual. Paul’s admonition was just about ‘lust’. He never even actually said “A man shall not lie with another man as though a woman.” as your current translations suggest. He wrote in Koine Greek. He said: ‘ἀρσενοκοῖται’, which was actually just vernacular at the time for ‘Bed Boy’, but it didn’t even mean what it sounds like. There are many theories out there in your English speaking world…

BS: “Like ‘male prostitute’.”

JC: “Yes, that’s one, but even though Paul was against prostitution personally, it’s not what he meant. More importantly the Greeks had words for ‘homosexuality’ already. Paul obviously would have used one of those if that was what he meant. In this particular case, he was talking about people ‘watching others have sex’. It originates from the idea of boys sneaking under beds or hiding in other rooms from the bed or upon whatever a couple was having sex. Corinth was full of people who could afford multiple rooms and beds on legs, and the Romans were kind of pervy. So it was a fairly new thing to My People.

BS: “So… cuckolds?”

JC: “Yes, cucks. It was non-productive lust that often led to problems. It was right of Paul to admonish the Corinthians for it.”

BS: “Do you have anything I can use to prove this? Who’s going to believe me?”

JC: “That’s not the prayer I’m here for.”

BS: “Okay, fair enough. So God doesn’t care about what two loving people do with each-other?”

JC: “God is about Love. If it’s love and it’s not hurting anyone, it’s fair game. The problem is the trouble people get into following lust above love.

BS: “Okay, so WHY are people trying to force their will; the prohibition against abortion and LGBTQ+ rights, on everyone else in your name?”

JC: “It has nothing to do with me. These are people who have rejected love and are instead acting on their fears. They want everyone else in their world to be ‘just like them’ so they can feel ‘safe’. It is, what you yourself have referred to, their ‘tribal wiring’. I gave people The Spirit in order to overcome their boundaries, their walls, their fears, and even themselves. Those who act in fear have rejected The Spirit.
If these were My People, they would understand that the rules set forth in My name, every single one of them, only apply to Christians. They would be too humble to try to force My rules on non-believers, let alone make up rules I never gave them and force those on people. I was very clear when I told Nacham about the Greatest Commandment…”
BS: “Nacham?”

JC: “Yes, he was the Pharisee who asked ‘What is the greatest commandment?’. Bit of a neat-freak, always trying to impress people, one of those types. I said, “Love God and love each-other.” The problem, it seems, is that too many people don’t understand that these are not separate things. There is a reason I put them together. God is ALL things. People are very much a part of God. To not love others, to not love everyone, is to not love God.”

BS: “They say ‘love the sinner, not the sin’.

JC: “They’re not fooling me. They may fool themselves and each-other, but I was pretty clear to Matthew about God ‘seeing people’s hearts’. Anyone who is not honest with themselves, anyone who calls themselves one of ‘mine’ but hates is also deluded about their salvation.”

BS: “So… they aren’t ‘saved’ then?”

JC: “Complicated, but because I’m not subject to linear time, I can assure you we’ll get to that.”

BS: “Oh…K. So, they say they’re trying to ‘grow the church’. What do you say to that?”

JC: “Anyone who’s read My Testament knows that organized religion is a travesty. To be a Christian has nothing to do with belonging to a church. Common houses of worship are nice, but the true faith of a Christian is personal. It’s about having a personal relationship with Me. This is the cornerstone of the Great Commission.

BS: “So spreading Christianity, real Christianity, has nothing to do with church attendance?”

JC: “Again, churches are nice, but 99% of them are concerned more with finances, influence, and composition. All three of these things are intertwined, and they ultimately work against the goals of My true church which is totally decentralized when done right. It’s about people following My example, and that example gets lost when a church goes up and has to operate in an all too material world.”

BS: “Butts, Budgets, and Buildings.”

JC: “Yes, your pastor was right. He went through a lot trying to juggle the Great Commission with the demands of keeping a church running. His immediate concerns were ‘getting butts in the pews’, ‘managing finances’, and then having enough real estate to grow.

BS: “So Christianity turned into a retail exercise?”

JC: “Don’t get me started on the Catholics.”

BS: “Okay, we won’t go there. Still, I’m curious about a few things. For one: can I get even a hint that I was right about anything in some of my articles? When are you coming back? And are you saying that ‘everyone is saved’?”

JC: “As for the articles, you’ll kick yourself for missing a couple things but you’re generally right about the progress of civilization which is ultimately how My Kingdom comes about. The ‘coming back’ thing? I’ve been back, in various incarnations. Society, unsurprisingly, tends to reject me. It’s as if they think the only way to know it’s me is if I come out of the clouds surrounded by golden lights and angels. When I come back as an aspect of a regular person, they reject what I say… and often kill me. There’s actually a piece of me in everyone who works toward a more inclusive, tolerant, and loving society. No one who’s read My Word can say otherwise. I am alive in all those for whom love is a priority over fear.

BS: “That which you do unto the least of you…”

JC: “You also do unto me. Indeed. As for ‘everyone being saved’? It’s actually true. Call it a gimmick, but The Divine preserves all living knowledge for eternity. Everyone is, quite literally, ‘saved’.

BS: “But, what about ‘punishment’? What about the Lake of Fire? Hell? Any of that?”

JC: “Oh, that’s real too. It’s just not as absolute and final as people think. ‘Hell’ really is impossible.”

BS: “How?”

JC: “Because no matter what you put someone through, they can adjust to it, grow a tolerance to it. Imagine someone’s first day in the Lake of Fire; It’s horrible torture, the worst thing ever imaginable. Now imagine their 1,237,084th day. They’re just like, “Hey Mike, how are you doing today?” Mike says, “We’re on fire and suffering, but at least it’s not a Monday.” The concept of Hell just doesn’t work that way. No, there’s actually something worse that people who pretend to be Christians while causing people to suffer have to look forward to.”

BS: “Any chance you c…”

JC: “No, sorry… spoilers. I’ll just give you a hint: John 14:6.”

BS: “But that’s…”

JC: “Just know that I love you, and Love is the way.”

– Then, Jesus winked.

He vanished. Just as instantly as he appeared. I’m left with very mixed feelings about many things. I still feel great comfort from His visit. I would question my sanity except that he said things I never knew or understood up to this very point.

But the one certainty that I’ve had for a while is reinforced: The ‘Christians’ that are forcing their conformist values on our nation are in for a very unpleasant surprise when they meet Him.