April 24, 2020 16:35h
G. S. Croft, BuzzSaw Correspondent.
Batavia, IL. At the end of another long week of imposed self-sequestration, unemployment doldrums, and Netflix and ice cream isolation, a cacophony has arisen around the responses and statements of the U.S. Administration. But through even the mounting cases of infection and death, the relative chaos of government reactions, and the deep consternation over the future of the economy, another concern related to the outbreak has come out of an unlikely sector.
Dr. Imma Bluhf, a theoretical physicist at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, otherwise known as ‘Fermi Lab’, is beginning to raise the alarm about a new and potentially deadly threat emerging from the general pandemonium.
“Looking at our readings,” Dr. Bluhf explained, “An enormous amount of energy, the likes of which we’ve never seen, is being created along networking lines throughout the nation. It’s theoretical energy, but the orders of magnitude we’re seeing it grow by means it could become a reality.”
According to Dr. Bluhf, this new energy is generated directly from the interaction between president Donald Trump’s statements to the public and the relative spin his fervent supporters are applying to those statements in order to ‘normalize’ or make them ‘reasonable’.
“The amount of spin we’re seeing is beyond anything recorded in all of history. It’s enough that it’s starting to create its own gravity well.” Bluhf went on; “If this becomes a localized phenomenon, it could create enough gravity to begin mass inversion on a small scale, which would eventually become bigger.”
The ‘spin’ Bluhf was referring to was, of course, the desperate efforts by Trump supporters to beat back against the world wide jeering and derision over Trump’s latest statement of wrought ignorance; that we should fight the coronavirus by ‘looking into’ injecting people with disinfectant or bombarding them with ultraviolet light. From Business Insider:
“So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether its ultraviolet or just very powerful light, and I think you said, that hasn’t been checked but you’re gonna test it. And then I said, supposing it brought the light inside the body, which you can either do either through the skin or some other way, and I think you said you’re gonna test that too, sounds interesting. And I then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in one minute, and is there a way you can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning.” – Donald J. Trump, 4/23/2020
Since that statement, the internet has been ablaze with, at first mocking, but then a concerted effort by conservatives and Trumpsters to beat down people’s horror and amusement with everything from claims Trump was ‘taken out of context’, to outright denial, and even naked Gaslighting as demonstrated by this Tweet from Scott Adams:
So it is clearly true that people are literally contradicting the president on his behalf. I asked Dr. Bluhf what this had to do with gravity. She said; “What’s happening can be summed up under Newton’s laws; ‘Force is equal to the change in momentum (mV) per change in Time. For a constant Mass, Force equals Mass times Acceleration (F = m a)’. There is a small amount of mass from Trump’s thoughts, but the acceleration they achieve when articulated and spread around the globe by media and internet is practically immeasurable. We’re talking light speed, but multiplied by billions of channels. His supporters have been putting out diametrically opposed context in order to ‘spin’ the information 180º in the opposite direction.”
I noted that it did seem that their spin was aimed at taking something immensely stupid and presenting it as incredibly intelligent.
“That’s right.” She said, “By exactly reversing the information with the same amount of energy that created it, the resulting spin is set, if this continues, to achieve singularity. Basically, we’re creating a sort of ‘black hole’.”
Having only a passing familiarity with physics, I managed to recognize that a black hole, on Earth, may not be a good thing. Dr. Bluhf could only offer this advice: “We need to not only educate people, but to somehow get them to recognize that trying to counter bad information with misinformation, for whatever reason, can potentially violate the rules of physics and result in the annihilation of everything. Please stop. Oh for the Love of God and all that is Holy, just stop.”
Ashen, I drove away from the facility and realized I should get another perspective. So I called an old contact of mine. Former NRA spokesman and virulent Trumpster, Wade Forret.
“Hey Big ‘G’! How’ya been?”, I heard over the abundant use of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms in the background.
“I’ve been better Wade.”, and I told him about the new information I’d picked up.
“That’s amazing!”, he jeered. “I’m sure Trump is a genius for creating a black hole…”
“No, Wade, that’s not…”
“But damn it’ll be great to once and for all Own the Libs!!” *Click*